"No, f*** you! I'm going to try to smuggle weapon's in."	Nawanda
"I haven't got it down yet, but I think the one's with the bumps are the women."	anonymous
"It's always worth the extra effort if you know you're going to confuse the s*** out of someone."	Nick Wardigo
"I'm glad I inspired you to do some strange things in the bathroom."	Mike Polis
"Anything can happen when time is passing."	Matt
"Understanding what a woman is thinking is hard. Understanding what two women are thinking at the same time is impossible."	Marc Pottier
"It's the code of the samuri, c***sucker!"	Dave Schwartz
"I was totally, personally satisfied last night."	Brenda Burke
"I want you all to start using your tongues constructively."	Jed Harris
"I didn't know about it until this week, but I love it!"	Mike Polis (in reference to Alcohol Awareness Week)
"I have never yearned to be an electrical object."	Mike Polis
"Look what she did to that Mercedes!" "Yes, but it's better than being stalked by the undead."	DP and Mike Polis
"Inferno no, oven yes."	Dave Schwartz
"Excuse me, did you see me run but naked down the hall last night?"	Dave Boisvert
"I hit someone, even after the called, 'No slugs.' I was shunned for awhile. I did not care. It was a fart above and beyond normal methane expulsion."	Commander Dave
"Get out of my way! I've got a big axe, and furthermore, I'm green."	Prof. Peggy Knapp
"The problem with me is, I'm not afraid of getting wet, and I never give up."	Laura Addams
"You escalated this, Pottier!"	Nawanda
"What's a nice green guy like you doing in a realistic narrative like this?"	Prof. Peggy Knapp
"I just found out the hard way, I am a dog."	Dave Schwartz
"Victory comes in strange forms on Scobell 2."	DP
"Relinquish my alcohol, Frog Boy!"	Craig Mrusek
"What!? They have bigger d***s!? Take their flag!"	Eric McAnallen
"I think fraternity guys are jerks."	Sharon Kristoff
"The hole only enhances its ability to kill."	Mike Polis
"When you're drinking and don't want the night to end, you just keep looking for entertainment."	Chris Mega
"It's better than sex. You can see through sex."	Nick Wardigo (in reference to McEwan's Scotch Ale)
"If you can't really defend yourself, at least be entertaining."	Mike Polis
"It's not Grotian, it's not Kartian and it's not Hobbesian. It's s***!"	Dave Boisvert
"We're all writers here. Nick, what's it like to be pregnant?"	Prof. Bernstein
"It's a liberal humanist blitzkrieg!"	Prof. Peggy Knapp
"Out of the three, that one had a beginning, a middle, and end. I didn't understand a damn bit of it, but I knew where it was."	Craig Mrusek
"Every era has its pirates."	Craig Mrusek
"My quest is to find the most comfortable chair."	Chris Mega
Craig: "Oh, Marc?" Marc: "Yeah?" Craig: "I can't get in the car." Marc: "Why?" Craig: "It's on my foot." Marc: "S***!"
"I've always wanted to go to on of their shows and catch a piece of liver in my mouth."	Steve on W.A.S.P.
"So... you're acting."	Mike Polis
"If I want to know about sex with Steelers, I'll ask my mom."	Laura Addams
"The last thing I feel like doing right now is pounding a bunch of beer."	Craig Mrusek in a fit of delirium
"I wonder what's it's like to be old and Jewish."	Brian Kyslinger
"Where do they get off faking a whole nationality?"	Mike Polis on the Greek system
"That's just what we need, sending ***holes goodwill."	Prof. Costanzo
"They got really hard and cracked."	DP (in reference to the hole in his pants)
"I think a man has the right to be confused after being picked up by his scrotum and thrown several feet."	Mike Polis

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